Business Lesson from War Story 

Lessons From My Past: How to Bust Through Fear and Cut the Cancer in Your Business

During the dot-com bubble in Silicon Valley, my roommate stood outside smoking a cigarette and told me point blank: "I’m from Nebraska. My family is white trash from a trailer park. We smoke, we drink..." I had no idea what he meant, I've never heard of "trailer park", "white trash", I just thought he was another nerd.

Five years later, I moved to Nebraska and started a business with him.

It was a nightmare. He was a disastrous businessman with toxic spending habits. He was dragging the company down, verbally abusing his wife, and eventually, he turned that verbal abuse on me. Everyone around us - our bookkeeper, our accountant, the neighbors in the next office - told me to boot him out.

But I was terrified. I was trapped by the fear that he knew things about the business and technology that I didn't.

Then, someone wiser than me taught me: "You have a degree in Computer Science, and this is not your first business. Whatever it is you don't know, technical and business, you can figure it out."

That was my turning point. I finally summoned the courage to do my "secret research". I sat down on a Saturday afternoon and figured out his entire operational "expertise" in less than four hours.

We hired his own father’s lawyer to handle the corporate "divorce". I kicked him out of the company, and forgave the debt he owed me just to be clean of him. As a matter of fact, I had to pay him to leave for he wasted all his money and was broke. After it was done, his father's lawyer told me the cold truth: "He never thought of you as a true friend. That’s why he treated you so badly." Thinking back, I am sure that lawyer has handled lots of business marriages and business divorces LOL and my business divorce? He's seen this movie before! many times! LOL

A neighbor of mine, a psychology professor at our local university, explained the concepts of sociopaths & psychopath to me, and the fable of the Scorpion and the Frog: it is simply their nature to sting and destroy, even if it will kill themselves, and they will never learn and improve.

The Brutal Lesson on Fear Busting

When you are an honest, decent professional, you become a magnet attracting toxic manipulators. They use charm to entice, seduce, in order to suck you in, and they use mind control and intimidation to keep you trapped in fear. 

Here is a joke for you: 

Q: How do turkey farmers make sure his turkeys do not want to escape?

A: He tells his turkeys: "there are wolves outside of my farm, and they want to eat you. I on the other hand, provide you with free food free housing free medical care, because I love you and I have no Ulterior Motive!"

If you are tolerating a toxic partner, a destructive client, or a terrible employee right now because you are scared of what happens if they leave, here is the reality:

1. The thing that you fear so much? it is an illusion, based on a delusion created just to fool you: You are smarter than you realize, you are more capable than you realize, you have access to more resources than what you realize. But when you are in fear? your mind is frozen, like a machine with all its gear all seized up. Whatever "magic" you think they possess, you can figure it out, Yes You Can!

2. Endure Short-Term Pain for Long-Term Freedom: To save your business and your sanity, you must do what appears to be scary, for example: cut out the cancer. The process will hurt, but it is the only way to survive, and it's short term pain for long term pleasure.

3. Confidence is Earned in the Fire: You do not build confidence by waiting until you feel safe. Fear busting is the only way to build true confidence. Breaking free is the most liberating experience you will ever have.

I don't teach "pain avoidance." I don't tell my clients "hot air sweet nothings" for short-term comfort. I help you identify what needs to be done. I eliminate the fear that's holding you back. I help you discover and summon the courage that's deep down inside of you so you can do what needs to be done.