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Why Emotional Intelligence is the Real Secret to Your Leadership Success
The set of challenges faced by first time leaders in the world of business:
At the start of one of my leadership seminars, in front of the entire classroom, a very brave student poured his heart out:
“I got promoted into leadership, because I was the best individual contributor, because I was self motivated. Now I am the boss of the folks I used to work with, how do I make them as self motivated as I am? I am getting no help. If I don’t figure out the solution soon, I will be demoted back to where I was… I’d be humiliated at work, and I won’t be able to face my family.”
That, is a high quality human being with a high quality problem bravely asking a high quality question!
The rest of the classroom were all in similar situations, for this is the situation faced by every new manager, transitioning from individual contributor to leader of a team. You’d think the corporate world would have long figured something out to make this transition easier? Nope!
But why? Why won’t the corporate world make this transition easier?
Warning: According to ancient Chinese wisdom: “Good medicine tastes bitter, and honest advice sounds harsh to your ears.” In other words: “the truths will set you free, but the truth will hurt your feelings first!” If you are brave enough, here are the "Inconvenient Truths!”:
Question #3: Why are mainstream leadership classes so ineffective and often turn out to be worse than a waste of time?
Answer: Imagine a medical school training medical doctors - without teaching biology; or imagine a civil engineer designing a bridge - but not taking gravity into consideration. That’s the inconvenient truth about mainstream leadership classes!
Question #2: Why won't upper management provide effective teaching themselves? Using their own experiences?
Answer: Knowing something yourself is not the same as knowing how to teach that thing you know.
Example#1: So many parents are excellent drivers themselves, but they pay a professional driving instructor to teach their own teen kids how to drive.
Example#2: So many parents who are scientists and engineers do NOT homeschool their own kids but send their own kids to schools to be educated in science.
Example #3: Not all successful athletes become effective coaches.
Example #4: Not all “experienced good employees” are effective at coaching younger/newer employees.
Example #5: Not all seasoned managers know how to explain what they learned over the years.
One day, after lunch, when I was just about to re-start the teaching, one of the seminar students said to me, in front of the whole class: “I realized something profound during lunch time: There were a number of key points that you taught this morning, my boss has been trying to teach me the same concepts, over and over again, for almost 2 years now, and I finally got it, today, thanks to the way you taught it, the way he taught it? No way I could comprehend his teaching points! He knows, but he doesn’t know how to explain what he knows. I should’ve taken your class 2 years ago!”
Question #1: For the most part, upper management does NOT even provide any kind of leadership training to newly promoted leaders, why is that?
Surface level answer: Upper managers think, believe, feel: “If I didn't get leadership training myself when I started, and figure it out on my own, the next gen should figure it out on their own too!”
Deeper Level Reason: Upper management wants to see, if you are willing to put in the effort, to learn it, on your own.
Here comes more inconvenient truths:
What Leadership is NOT:
Leadership is not about dealing with the physical world,
leadership is not to be confused with entrepreneurial vision,
leadership is not about business processes,
leadership is not to be confused with HR policies and procedures…
Leadership is not about knowing what needs to be done…
Leadership is all about:
You know how to get others to enthusiastically want to do the things you need them to do
You have authentic true inner confidence so others just want to follow you - naturally!
You know how to inspire genuine, sincere, authentic, gut-level trust - and hence, loyalty - from your employees toward you: you the individual who just so happens to be their manager
But how do you develop this level of Authentic Inner Confidence?
Leadership is all about one thing and one thing only: dealing with humans. Humans are living creatures, living creatures that can feel and think on their own for themselves:
Humans have needs and wants and feelings,
Humans have feelings about feelings,
Humans have feelings about feelings about feelings…
Humans have thoughts about feelings, and feelings about thoughts…
Yet most mainstream leadership training carries on, without mentioning human nature and human emotions. That’s like designing a bridge without thinking about gravity, that’s like being a medical doctor without understanding basic biology and human anatomy…
Your endeavor will fail, if your entire approach is based on ignoring reality! And that, is the Inconvenient Truth!
What makes learning leadership challenging?
Compared to being the driver of a car, it's so much easier to be the passenger in a car driven by someone else
Compared to being a leader, it's so much easier to be a follower
Compared to being an effective leader, it's so much more painful to be an ineffective leader
Being an individual contributor, your mistakes are often private, can be fixed by yourself, the damage is often limited, and is often tolerated, forgiven, and a certain percentage of mistakes are expected and accepted by upper management
The same cannot be said about being a leader! All your mistakes are public, people up and down the food chain are all negatively affected, the damage is much bigger; your good deeds are often forgotten quickly, but your mistakes will be stored in people’s long-term memories!
Becoming a leader who is not only effective, but can also do it "effortlessly"? That takes effort! The effort of deep inner self development!
As a leader, in today’s knowledge-based economy, leading today’s knowledge workers, it's a big part of your job, to preach to your employees about how they need to embrace "inner self development"
But: you cannot get your followers to believe and practice "true inner self development" if you are not practicing what you preach!
Upper management is watching you: are you investing your own energy/effort, in learning, in developing yourself?
Do you have the good habit of “Pushing Yourself”?
Those teen kids who make it to the best universities are never content with just the assigned work from school/parents, they have their own curiosity which drives their own learning.
Those athletes who win gold medals are never those who did the bare minimum, they are the ones who always wanted more: "have I tried this idea, that technique" 9 out of 10 new ideas failed, but they kept on trying something new, something more.
The computers and mobile phones around us, we can see their improvements year after year, because the engineers and the industry keep on improving.
You cannot become an Authentic Confident Leader,
without first putting in the effort,
without the effort of deep inner learning,
without changing many of your deep beliefs 180,
without doing the courageous & hard work of unlearning a lot of your old programming.
without “blood, sweat, and tears”!
This takes effort, and you’ve got to put in the effort first before you get to enjoy the result!
Joke: 200 years ago, in a cold winter snowy night, a man came home, this was before electricity, before gas (propane), before matches… he looked at the cold dark fireplace, and said to the fireplace: “give me heat, give me heat first, before I do the hard work of splitting wood, and start a fire.” He froze to death with plenty of firewood stacked outside of the house.
True story: At age 18, while serving in the Austrian army, Arnold Schwarzenegger went AWOL (Absent Without Leave) from the military in order to compete in a bodybuilding contest. He had to sneak away from his military base & took a freight train in order to sneak into Germany. He won the competition, but upon sneaking back onto the military base, he was caught and subsequently ended up in a military prison. However, his superiors were impressed by his dedication, he was later allowed 3 hours a day to work out for the rest of his time in military service. Imagine if young Arnold only did the bare minimum of what the army required of him; imagine if young Arnold never even went to the competition because he knew the army would not allow him time off… do you think he’d become "The Governator", in a place so far away from Austria?
This is not for everyone!
Most people don't become leaders
Most first time leaders fail
Most first time leaders don't get promoted further up
But those who are willing to do the work? The work of true inner self development? learning insights about human nature? they advance, they advance faster than others, and they make it look all easy!
This is challenging, are you up for it?
Q: Is leadership hard? A: Yes!
Q: What makes leadership hard? A: The leader always needs to be emotionally more mature than the followers! Let that sink in!
Q: What is the #1 secret in leadership success? A: Leadership is all about being emotionally more mature than your followers!
When you become emotionally more mature than the folks you lead, you have “Authentic Leadership”!
How to Develop & Master Your Authentic Leadership?!
What you will learn from this Intensive 1-on-1 Private Coaching:
The truth about human emotions: where did human emotions come from, and how do they affect us in our modern society?
Typical human emotions and their origin;
Do humans really make decisions Rationally? Logically? Or do humans make decisions Emotionally?
How to figure out the belief that creates the attitudes, and use it to change people’s attitudes?
Unlearn some of the biggest confusions out there regarding Emotional Intelligence, that are in the way of your learning Emotional Intelligence!
Why Emotional Intelligence is NOT just another kind of Intelligence, in addition to you being smart with Math and Physics?
Why you need to go deeper than "behavior"? Why did scientists replace “Behaviorism” and you should too?
The secret technique successful people use, utilizing motivators, incentives and inspirations... to effectively manage the emotions of their employees, and themselves!
The most popular, yet least effective, communication method to influence and persuade that you need to stop using.
How to identify beliefs that are holding people back, and how to help people upgrade their beliefs?
What feelings inside of you, are delaying/preventing you, from delegating more? becoming a better teacher/coach to your good employees? start the termination procedure on your bad employees? How to overcome these feelings that are preventing you from moving forward and moving forward faster? What feelings are preventing you from spending more of your valuable time on doing tasks that are of higher value? long term value? For example: strategic planning? developing yourself?
A simple trick you can use, to study human emotions - on your own!
The difference between Transactional and Beyond Transactional motivators/incentives. Why Beyond Transactional motivators/incentives are so much more powerful? How to identify/discover Beyond Transactional motivators/incentives and utilize them to influence and persuade people?
What are some of the biggest and most common confusions that are holding people back?
A simple 3 step process to turn someone’s mind 180? Examples on how to get someone to do a 180, in a way that's uplifting & inspirational. Plus dissecting the techniques used.
Understand the ever moving goal post of human desires, and how to apply this understanding in business leadership.
The difference between Favoritism VS Meritocracy. Knowing the difference between Meritocracy VS Favoritism will give you the intelligence hence confidence to manage your own emotions as well as the emotion of your teams from the attack of troublemakers.
The fear of the long term perpetual pain, should be utilized, and have been utilized, by people who get ahead in life, and as an effective business/leadership tool to influence, persuade and inspire everyone, from your employees to yourself.
Why you must develop your Emotional Maturity, not just your Emotional Intelligence?
After taking this Intensive 1-on-1 Private Coaching, you will be able to:
Easily turn people around 180 degrees!
Bring the best out of people.
Overcome beliefs that are holding people back (both your team members and yourself!)
Enjoy reduced stress and anxiety, greater productivity, higher levels of performance and a greater sense of teamwork.
Become more capable in all aspects of your professional/personal life.
Become the Authentic Leader you set out to become!
Is this you? Find out if you are a good fit!
Do you want to get ahead faster? Create loyalty from your employees? Eliminate stress and frustration? Have more time?
Are you trying to get your employees to want to do what you need them to do?
Are you frustrated when you fail to convince others to see things your way?
Do you want to be more effective at influence and persuasion?
Do you want to be more effective at getting agreements from others? (Including but not limited to: team members, colleagues, outside vendors, customers, even bosses? Yes, even bosses?!)
Do you want to gain the respect of your team members? colleagues? Even your bosses?
Do you want to become the sort of leader others would love to follow?
If that’s the case, this Intensive 1-on-1 Private Coaching is for you!
If you want shallow, superficial "edutainment"? this is NOT for you.
If you want deep learning, to solve real world challenges, you can not afford to not take this Intensive 1-on-1 Private Coaching!!!
In this Intensive 1-on-1 Private Coaching, Coach Michael Lin gives away all his secrets! He holds nothing back! All his secrets in listening skills, communication skills, influence and persuasion skills, coaching skills, business secrets, are all in this 1-on-1 intensive!
This is not for everyone! You and your old programming will be challenged during this Intensive 1-on-1 Private Coaching!!!
This is only for those who are willing to do the work, challenge their old programming, and upgrade their thinking! Is this you?
This isn’t for everyone, and not every applicant is accepted!
Only applicants with the right mindset when it comes to self development will be accepted. Some of these traits are:
Gut level desire to overcome challenges;
Brave enough to ask for help;
Courage to unlearn old programming.
A solid understanding that coaching demands active participation, not passive listening.
Delegate simple tasks away in order to focus on deep inner development.
You should take this Intensive 1-on-1 Private Coaching if you are:
A manager or a business owner,
Managing a team of employees,
Or managing a team of managers,
You live in the real world, you have real world challenges you need to overcome.
You are a doer, you are a thinker, and you are a life long learner.
You challenge yourself to constantly do more so you can learn more, learn more so you can do more.
You get a kick out of solving problems, you get a bigger kick out of helping others to learn how to solve problems - on their own!
You play the game of: "Never ending upward spiral personal evolution."
And you want:
More time out of your day;
Less stress;
Higher productivity;
Happier and more loyal employees;
Do less work yet make more money for yourself!
Real insights, not "Corporate Fluff", to solve your problem!
So you can solve bigger challenges and make bigger contributions to yourself, your family, your team, and society at large.
You will lose: Unhelpful thinking that has been holding you down :-(
You will gain: New thinking that will catapult you to the next level!
Comments from past students:
“For the longest time, I followed the bad education of "Focus on the behavior, don't let emotions get in the way". As a result, my life and my business were stuck. After getting coaching from Coach Michael Lin and mastering my intelligence on human emotions, I was finally able to become effective at getting other people to want to do what I need them to do, and move my business and my life forward.”
"I was using the most commonly used yet least effective method to convince people to agree with me, and it gave me nothing but stress and frustration. After getting coaching from Coach Michael Lin, I changed my leadership style 180 degrees and I became so much more effective at influence and persuasion. My employees are now so much happier and I can now focus on tasks that are more important for our long-term goals."
"Coach Michael Lin is unique in the sense that he has a very effective teaching method. He was able to quickly identify what was in my "blind-spot", and explain my confusion away in a way that was really easy for me to follow. If you want to advance your career and your business quickly, don't miss out on his Intensive Coaching!"
Coach Michael Lin specializes in helping First Time Leaders in the business world
Thousands of business leaders, from hundreds of organizations and associations, in dozens of industries, have attended his Leadership Seminars, Workshops, Keynote Sessions & 1-on-1 Coaching sessions.
And the attendees often make the following comments:
"Thanks to Coach Michael Lin, I developed a Deep Understanding of my team members, all based on my newly acquired Emotional Intelligence! I now have a much more Authentic Connection with my team."
"Due to the Persuasion Skills I learned at the workshop, I am now more Fluent at Influencing people, especially when it comes to Inspiring my team members - and they love it!"
"I finally became Congruent at Being the Authentic Leader - because Coach Michael Lin helped me to develop My Own Inner Self! My team told me I am like a Sea Captain the crew trust their lives with!"
All "Business Problems" are actually "People Problems"! - Coach Michael Lin
Key Takeaways from his leadership seminars and workshops:
1: What makes other people tick? Employees who report to us? Our peer managers & leaders? Outside customers? Outside vendors? Shareholders? Upper management?
2: How to identify the right incentives - for other people? Why should we not confuse “the right incentive for ourselves" with "the right incentive for others”? How to utilize our insights into short term vs long term pain & pleasure to influence, persuade and help others, to create Win/Win outcomes for everyone?
3: How to advance our own careers, by going out of our way to: help others?! solve other people's problems?! Why do we need to understand the big picture of the corporation (not just "my department") and solve problems for the entire corporation?
4: "Software Upgrade" in our heads, from employee thinking (my hours for my salary), into business thinking: what do customers need and want? how to provide goods/services for customers? What hardware & human capabilities do we have? how to inspire employees to want to give their best - using non monetary incentives? How to create win/win for everyone? customers, shareholders, employees, and managers/leaders?
5: Why Confidence Building by Practicing Fear Busting is the key to Self Development? How can we constantly expand our comfort zone, by doing things we know we should do, but don't do - due to fear?
Remember:
True emotional maturity & authentic leadership can only be developed through your own hard work, through trial and tribulation, through overcoming your own fears, and upper management knows that.
This is exactly like learning Martial Arts, which is as much training of the mind as training of the body.
Upper management is trying to see if you are the sort who will invest your own blood and sweat in your own future.
Bonus benefits:
Did you know, becoming a leader with authentic confidence, makes you better at other aspects of your life too? For example:
Selecting a high quality partner, collaborating with your partner, raising kids, having broader concerns and longer term thinking about family & social responsibilities, being more capable at taking care of your aging parents, etc etc…
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